xboxmas

Today I went to Best Buy, where my family braved a 20 minute line (in which we had quality parent-son time and I explained the concept of micropayment game economies when I saw the League of Legends pre-payed cards by the checkout) and ultimately bought only some cheap headphones and a DVD of Homeward Bound: The Incredible Journey at my sister's half-intentional request.

As we sidled and crab-hopped our way through the christmas eve aislethrongs, I was impressed by the number of Kinects under people's arms. There are moments that remind me how I really, truly don't understand the scope and scale of what gets manufactured, bought, and sold in this world. Within the past few years I've gotten a better understanding of money, earnings, and better living through disposable income (all new information for someone who has always gotten more enjoyment out of a cardboard hat than a hundred dollar bill), but today I saw at least six $400 Kinects sold within twenty minutes, at a single Best Buy in a single New York suburb. I can't extrapolate total sales without population density information, an economics degree, and a reason to care, but goddamn capitalism is huge.

squibbidy bop dop blam

My program at Tufts seems to directly impact and address my life issues. Whether this is because I see the issues as I study them or because I choose to study issues close to home, I have spent a semester learning about creativity and motivation, and why I can't seem to lasso either of them into my personal existential corral. If there is one take-home message I've gotten from the whole thing, it is this: creativity does not come from moments of spontaneous inspiration. Waiting around for that inspiration that will lead you to write your bestselling novel and quit your shitty job at the office will not actually do either.

Which is not to say that inspiration never strikes. But like other things that strike (bowling balls; lightning; labor unions), ideas are more likely to hit you in a land where they normally dwell (bowling alleys; open fields; sandwich shops). If you want to be savaged by a pack of grizzlies, you should probably go to a grizzly den. If you want creative inspiration, you should probably spend time working and thinking in the same domain where you want inspiration.

Actually, if you want to be savaged by a pack of grizzlies, you probably shouldn't go to a grizzly den. You should probably come over here, so I can make you a sandwich and talk about why you want to be savaged by a pack of grizzlies.

They might not even come in packs.

But what DOES come in packs (segue, bam) is Five-Hour Energy. Packs of 12. Of which I bought two, platoons armed and ready to push the beachheads of academia and keep me functional. As with everything else I bring into my life, these inevitably got combined with alcohol, and I can tell you there is nothing good about this union. Chaining 5-hour energies and whiskey is the only way I've ever managed a hangover that lasted for three full days. It's good to know I have talents.

The picture accompanying was drawn for MeghanTwitch, who picked "leopard" when I asked her to pick an animal because she was folding leopard print undies at the mall at the time. Meghan has the distinction of being the only human in the world who can play the little spoon for an entire night without putting the big spoon's arm to sleep. This one's a keeper, ladies and gents.

new things

I have poured grad school into the pot and turned on the burner. Within a few weeks hopefully there will be bubbling, and then I can pour it into a bowl and keep myself alive with it for a little while longer.

Grad school is apparently canned soup.

To switch metaphors and help me along the way, I've bought myself a sleek and sexy technological companion to strut around campus on my arm: an iPad. Like any good trophy wife, it constantly wants to go shopping and wears a lot of leather. The shopping is for apps to turn what is essentially a device meant for consumer-whoring and looking at kitties into a useful academic tool for data organization; the leather is so it will survive the inevitable bike accident that's going to happen as I bike the serious business commercial roads to and from Tufts.

I drew the accompanying drawing with my finger on the iPad. There is potential here, but I wish potential meant "a larger canvas size."

Aside from the academic, there's one major new situation: with Ashlyn moved to London I've fallen off the good ship Cohabitation into the salty, sultry waters of singledom. The singles pool? Does existing metaphor say it's a pool, not a sea? I guess it doesn't matter; kids pee in both. Which is gross.

I haven't had real experience with hunting, dating, and sexing outside the college bubble of "I'm going to stick my head in the sand and pretend STDs don't exist because I (foolishly) trust the people in my circles to be intelligent and take care of themselves." So now I need to do that thing where you're intelligent and responsible. Fortunately I seem to be getting better at that.

Fish oil, biking, rigorous academics, and whiskey. These four things are keeping me consistently happy, and consistent happiness is new for me. Things Are Going Well.

my carrots are rotten

A brand new bag of carrots, opened only to discover that slimy texture that tells you "this is not for eating." I'm sure they wouldn't hurt me, but when the only reason I'm eating is for my own entertainment, vegetables covered in suspicious mucus-y film are not what I ordered from culinary netflix.

I am making a game. A storytelling game. The king of the Beowulf-era mead hall is dead, and all would-be successors need to boast of their heroics to prove their worthiness to assume the crown. It's building itself into a hybrid of Munchkin and Once Upon a Time with a side of Liar's Dice, as whether you are mighty enough to do the things you say you've done is never really certain.

When this game is complete, I will launch a site where all the materials from all the games I've ever made will be downloadable. There will be The Jungle, Zombies vs Elves, Fishin' With Cthulhu, Time Machine Junkyard, Tiki God, and the as-yet untitled forthcoming creation. There will also be a Paypal button on the off chance that someone feels like buying me a sandwich, or perhaps a bottle of Snake Peel shower gel. Hopefully Ricky, Ashlyn, Tim, and I will keep making new things too.

and you make a neat gun for the people who are

...STILL ALIVE

and how. Alright, my little internet captchalogue. Here we are again.

As I type this, I am endlessly refreshing the login screen and/or server status of League of Legends. The talons of Maripongides, Lord of Video Games, remain lodged firmly in my tender mortal flesh. I spent the better part of a week in Canada doing A Different Spin shows (and being put up in the Hilton, which sounds swanky and pleasant until you realize that nothing is complimentary in classy establishments and you'd be better off with the Holiday Inn) and spent much of my downtime staring glassily into the screen of the Nintendo DS that I bought on an impulse to try Scribblenauts. This is why I'm bad at making friends.

F5. Server unavailable. F5. Server unavailable.

Going to try to swim back to this little boat of mine and turn it upright from its prolonged capsize of many moons. It's just hard to get leverage when you're neck deep in ocean.

the gallopy gallopy

As long as this gif is playing, I am laughing uncontrollably. This may be the funniest thing I've ever seen, and I want to know whether that makes me crazy.

holy mother of what

the fun.

First a note from real life, as a tip of the hat to the idea of "keeping a blog" as updates on one's actual doings: I am, in fact, going back to school in the fall. They have my money, I have a student ID number, and it's all very official and ivoried. In Celtic mysticism and the Tarot, fire is the element of inspiration, the start of the journey of an idea. I am now literally putting the fire behind me and moving on to the next stage. If the tarot is to be believed, I'm in for heavy rainstorms and will probably end up pregnant. Let's hope that's metaphorical.

And now, while I am on a watery note... a stream of consciousness. Pun! Pun! KaCHOW!

Tobie Bobbin had always suspected there was more to the toaster than met the eye. With two brothers dead in the war and his parents under a spectral, ever-present weepiness as a consequence, Tobie often found himself confined to the kitchen. The living room contained the uncomfortable silence of his parents' staring and sniffling, and his bedroom contained his brothers' ghosts, whose generally nasty dispositions had not been improved by traumatic, violent death. Tobie had tried to explain the situation to his parents after Compley, the eldest, had broken Tobie's model of the Empire State Building using ghostly telekinesis, but it only earned him five weeks of grief counseling and Compley's ghost ethereally peeing on him as he slept. This situation left the kitchen, with its mysterious toaster, as the main focus for Tobie Bobbin's hours and attentions. As the third day of continuous toaster contemplation drew to a close, Tobie was overcome with a sudden surge of understanding. He climbed inside, and played the saxophone So Hard.

The End. Suptacular, clopdandies. Which is a Shetland pony with a cravat. That is what a clopdandy is. Right now, on the other hand, is what bedtime is. Put that in your clop and dandy it.

image may be forthcoming, but I pray it isn't related.

It's been a while (a whole three posts) since I discussed gross things. So let me tell you about the trash can. The northeast has been flooded with a three-day deluge. Here in Brighton we have gotten at least ten inches of rain. I can say this confidently because there were at least ten inches of water in the garbage can that Tim and I just had to carry down our rickety back steps. Sharing the garbage can with the days-old water were two full bags of household refuse, which sent their olfactory essence brazenly out to explore the surrounding filth like tiny stink-particle Vikings. We walked it the half block to a storm drain and emptied the bilge water, wondering how anything could smell so bad.

If you took twelve pounds of shredded cabbage and packed it into the unclean anus of some sort of enormous hyena, starved that hyena for ten days before gorging it on a bowl of extra-meaty chili and prune purée, then caught the resulting rear-end explosion head-on, I suspect you might recreate that smell.

And that's the exciting news for the day. Also, Tufts didn't give me enough money, so I'm asking them for a deferment. We'll see how that goes.

yet another fantasy picture

Look, another D&D drawing!

rabbits from hats!

I just finished the only full-time work I've done since the beginning of the summer, working a week at a local arts center instructing YOUTHS! Or, as I have been known to say on camera for national television, YOOFS! I'm sure all my toys and equipment are now covered in a putrescent slime in which all manner of microtic biological transactions are taking place, a veritable United Nations of pediatric germs who are learning and advancing from this bounty of exchanged culture, in every sense of the word. I'm going to take a bottle of Lysol and empty it into the prop bag. Millions of voices will cry out in terror and be suddenly silenced.

In other news, I got into grad school. Depending on professional prospects and financial aid, I may be going to Tufts in the Fall. More on this story as it emerges. Also, yesterday I witnessed a goose fight, something I've never seen before. Three male geese were Having it Out with one another, roaring and hissing and honking and swelling up and tearing one another rather apart.

I have lost track of time and need to go make pancakes for a Circus Guild potluck. Time management, like so many other things, is not a skill I have.

naked lady

D&D character sketch go! We're trying out the fancy new edition of Dungeons & Dragons, and Ricky's taking the Dungeon Mastering helm to chart a course into dice-infested waters. I, of course, am taking this opportunity to play a hot chick who transforms into toothy things like wolves, winged turtles, and velociraptors. When the transhumanist revolution comes, this shall be my ultimate destiny.

That wolf on the bottom is thinking about a double chocolate baconator. He's been thinking about it allll day.

Dungeons & Dragons. What a great idea. I'll pour one out on the curb for you, Mr. Gygax. You did good work.

disgusting vocabulary, science, and dogs

A new scientific theory of observed human anatomy, based on personal experience while on a night-time run in late Boston January without the forethought of bringing along tissues:

the philtrum (the little ridge under your nose) acts as a remarkably effective and remarkably gross snot channel. In much the same fashion as some historians -and SCA members- postulate fullers on the blades of stabbing weapons to have functioned with regard to the lifeblood of a skewered foe, the ridge-and-dimple structure on our faces seems to flow nasal offerings right down into our mouth, where they can be conveniently spit out on the street. If that image didn't gross you out, hopefully the grammar of that last sentence did. But grossness aside, it gave me an excuse to use TWO vocabulary words: philtrum and fuller. Both things that people occasionally talk about but whose proper names are almost never known! The moral of the story is, bring a tissue when you go out in the cold.

And the title of the post tells me I should write something about dogs. They have wet noses. Which, now that I typed it and think about it, is remarkably relevant. Gross.